Oh, so youre still shrobing? Im so sorry.
Fashion has moved onwards, and rather than draping a jacket around your shoulders or turning your coat into a top, the hot new way to incorrectly wear your clothes is jarfing.
Now, before we get into the fashion definition of jarfing, we must note that this is a portmanteau already in existence, but describing something quite different.
According to UrbanDictionary, jarfing is the combination of jerking-off and barfing, when you make yourself throw up as you masturbate.
This is not the type of jarfing currently loved by fashion types, but if you find it entertaining to imagine thats what were referring to throughout this article, you go right ahead. We cant stop you.
The fashion take on jarfing is the act of wearing a jumper as a scarf. Get it? The j of jumper plus the arf of scarf? Easy.
The Sunday Times Style reckons that jarfing is heating up as a trend, and celebs and fashion people have been spotted wearing the look, so its officially a thing.
Its simple to jarf. Just take a jumper, wrap its sleeves around your neck in a loving embrace, and let the rest of your jumper hang down behind your shoulders.
Is this uncomfortable? Absolutely.
Will a heavy knit pull your neck and make you feel like youre being strangled by your own clothing? Yes.
Does jarfing put your favourite jumper at risk of stretching out and being ruined forevermore? For sure.
But isnt that the fun of fashion – ignoring an item of clothing expressly made for the purpose of keeping your neck warm in favour of a trend that looks and feels ridiculous?
The answer, dear friends, is yes.
We would advise choosing a lightweight jumper youre not too attached to for your jarfing needs. Perhaps a moth-eaten sweatshirt from the back of your wardrobe, or that mustard yellow knit that youll never wear but ran out of time to return.
The handy part of jarfing is that if you get too cold, you can pop the jumper on. Too warm, tie it round your neck. Easy.
If you dont fancy going down the DIY route, there are brands crafting jumpers with second jumpers already knotted around your neck, so you mustnt go to the faff of picking out a knitted combo yourself.
Celines £1,050 two-in-one sweater is, sadly, sold out, but were confident its only a matter of time until this very wearable trend trickles down to the high street.
Brace yourselves for jarfing.